Wednesday, June 18, 2014

It's rough out here in these streets....

Sometimes I get in a mood where I want to type but I don’t have anything to talk about. S/O to Shavaughn for shooting me a couple of topics so that I can effectively use these creative juices instead of wasting them!

It's summer and when the weather gets hot, clothing gets skimpier. People come out of hibernation and that park that sat empty all winter is now bustling with people. If you're a woman, you have most likely encountered some “street harassment” in your life.

It's interesting because when I was walking from the library earlier, a male acknowledged me and proceeded to ask for my number. When I informed him I was married he “left me alone.” When he first acknowledged my existence, the following though popped into my head:

“I don't really want to acknowledge him but he looks like he is a part of the neighborhood and I don't want to create bad vibes, so I should at least speak.

I also wondered if he would have “given up so easily” if I had simply stated “no” in response to whether or not he could have my number instead of saying I was married.

FTR this is what I would describe as a “tame” response on the part of the street harasser. Though people usually do not become irate or verbally abusive towards me (which I suspect has more to do with my response than it does with their personalities), they can be annoyingly persistent especially when all I want is to handle my business and keep it moving.

So yea street harassment....what exactly is that anyway?

For me, it is a word that describes unwanted interaction from people while you are in a public space attempting to handle your business. It obviously most often happens on the street but can happen in other public spaces such as the library or corner store.

It is annoying to say the least. What frustrates me though is that I think that (some) of the perpetrators truly don't believe they are doing anything wrong when they shout things like “Damn you sexy ma” , “can I get your number” “where are you going/why are you walking” etc.

On a good day, this “forced” interaction causes me irritation....simply because I have things to do and having unwanted, unsolicited conversation with random men trying to get into my panties is not usually on my to-do list. On a bad day, this type of interaction is infuriating because they make me feel devalued and uncomfortable. I don’t necessarily “dress for attention” from random people. I wear what I FEEL like wearing and I should not have to explain or justify this for anyone.

Yet street harassment has a way of making you feel like it's not OK to be comfortable. I definitely notice a difference in the type of attention I get from people depending on what I am wearing. Listen I live in the south and it is HOT. Wearing a sundress is for my comfort not a “thirst trap” as people like to call it these days. A short pair of shorts often means it is too hot to wear jeans...that’s it.

Street harassment makes me angry because I make it a point to not try to engage people who don’t look like they want to be engaged because it is rude. To me, it also shows that the person who is doing the street harassment views themselves as superior to the person whom they are talking. This is evident because in regular life, people are most often rude to people whom they feel are beneath them. When you view someone as an equal, you don't try to get them to do things that they are not interested in doing PERIOD because you value and appreciate their opinion.

It blows me that people don't understand just how rude it is to FORCE yourself into someone's space even when they clearly don't want to be bothered. It's like people believe that when you are in public, your existence should be public too, meaning people feel like they have the right to approach you at any time and basically demand your attention. This is by far the most ridiculous thing that I have ever heard. In no way shape or form does me coming out my house mean that I want to talk to anyone.

And yet time and time again, I feel pressured and forced to interact with people because I don't want things to “escalate to a different level”

Because lets be realistic...it's not always as simple as ignoring someone. Unsolicited interaction AKA street harassment puts me in a position where I have to watch what it is that I say and do because I don't want to elicit the “wrong reaction”

By wrong reaction I mean things like the harasser becoming physically aggressive or stalking me home or something like that. And yes those things happen....they happen more often than society wants to acknowledge. So I have two options it seems.....be physically uncomfortable and not be harassed or be physically comfortable yet emotionally uncomfortable....Oh to be a woman in today's society...

I am convinced at this point that my experience with street harassment has been “tame” in comparison to other people's only because I happen to talk to the people who try and talk to me. I know from experience that treating people nicely is more likely to garner a “nice response” but this does not eliminate all the anxiety and feelings of devaluement that occur as a result of people “trying to holla at me”

Because see there was this one time when I responded the way that I felt and that guy called me all types of bitches and hoes...this was after he tried to block me in the parking lot to FORCE me to talk to him. This was at a club in the parking lot. He wasn't trying to hear nothing smh. I told him I was engaged and he still kept pressing. I stated I wasn't interested and he tried to block me in with his car....

But yea

Even more concerning than my own individual feelings of discomfort is the fact that the perpetrators often don't feel like they are doing anything wrong, because they have the “right” to “holla at” whomever they want. These are the same types of people who feel that they are entitled to conversation (or anything else) because they chose to buy a woman a drink. These are the same types of men who believe that a woman dressing a “certain type of way” is OBVIOUSLY hunting for sex from the first person willing to offer it...

Street harassment is a concern because it supports a culture that devalues the opinions, thoughts and beliefs of women and people in general....Because you must think pretty highly of yourself to feel that you are entitled to conversations from other people. And since as a whole society acknowledges that forced conversation is not generally acceptable except in certain situations, it thus follows that people who feel they are able to force themselves on others naturally feel that they are more important than the average person....

And you can't be “more important” without devaluing the thoughts, feelings and wants of another person. I can't be “higher up on the totem pole” than you without first placing you at a lower space on said pole...

Street harassment is like the gateway behavior to sexual assault....and when you look at it in that light, it becomes difficult to just “brush it off” when you know that ignoring it could lead to something more...yet “brushing it off” is exactly what women often feel like they need to do in order to protect their well being.

What do you think? Have you ever been a victim of street harassment before? How did you cope? What were the results?

Saturday, June 7, 2014

RESPE you betta RESPECT ME (s/o to Khia)


Can I just begin this with stating that Rihanna's dress was jaw dropping gorgeous....in my opinion.
Unfortunately, Rihanna's gorgeous dress, while it served as a “thought sparker” is actually not the subject of this blog.

Rihanna's dress (as could only be expected) encouraged a lot of discourse regarding what is and what is not deemed appropriate and respectable dress for women.

For the record, I am SO sick of other people trying to decide what a person should or should not wear. I am MORE sick of people using a person's choice in clothing as the determining factor as to whether or not they will “respect” a person. Then there’s the fact that people REALLY think that respect is something that can “be earned” and the reality of the situation is THAT'S NOT TRUE.

No one earns respect, respect is GIVEN.

Let me say that again YOU CAN NOT EARN RESPECT because you can not control how any given person responds to what you do or say. The concept of earning respect is contingent upon the other person being able to fulfill their portion of the “bargain” ie agreeing to respect you if you xyz. I'm pretty sure that when you earn something, it is usually because there was already an agreement in place between you and another party.

*pauses to check the internet for definitions*

When I looked up the word earn, the first 3 definitions focused on money and capital. The last definition was the only one that is even remotely appropriate for this conversation. According to Merriam-Webster, the (4th) listed definition for earn is: gain or incur deservedly in return for one's behavior or achievements.

For example, you EARN your paycheck because you and your employer have an agreement. You agree to do said work and your employer agrees to pay you. The concept of earning respect doesn’t make much sense because it implies that you
  1. already have a relationship with a person prior to meeting them
  2. have made an agreement about what is and isn't considered “respectable”
  3. have agreed to govern yourself accordingly in order to earn said respect.

Though it is possible in theory to “earn” respect, it is not really something that is feasible in day to day behavior given the aforementioned reasons...

A commonly held idea in our society is that we need to “dress a certain way in order to earn respect.”

Lets just say hypothetically that said respect could be earned...

Picture this:
I am wearing daisy dukes and a tank top (which is a realistic outfit choice for me). IF I encounter a person AND they felt I was unworthy of respect due to my appearance, how long would it take to earn that respect, a second a minute, an hour a day? Does it give random person on the street “the right” to “disrespect” me because I have not presented myself in what they deem to be an acceptable manner? And once said respect is earned, is it OK to go back to dressing as I did before? What if I had on a suit and I cursed you out? Would I still be considered worthy of respect because my ass isn't showing?

So many questions that I as an individual are unable to answer...because the answers are subjective depending on who I am interacting with...

This is why I subscribe to the idea that respect is GIVEN because whether or not a person respects you is COMPLELETELY up to that individual. Nothing you do or say can cause that person to give you respect unless they want to point blank period. So no Rihanna doesn’t need to clothe herself to earn your respect, in fact, nothing she does will earn your respect UNLESS you decide to give it to her. And it's up to you to decide who and what is deserving of “your respect”

No lets get to the real nitty gritty, my issue with the concept of RESPECT in general. The dictionary describes respect as both a verb and a noun.

As a noun: a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements and as a verb: to admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

It should be noted that society's concept of respect has nothing to do with the aforementioned definition as we expect most people to behave in a “respectable” manner at all times. We use respect to determine what we feel is appropriate behavior for people to engage in.

But yea

Based off of the TRUE definition of respect, there are a whole mess of people I don't respect, because I don’t admire them in any way. This does not make me a bad person. It does not make them bad people either. What has the potential to make me a bad person is if I conclude that because I don't respect this person, I no longer have to acknowledge their humanity.

Respect is a word that I see used most often as a way to justify inhumane behavior. “She wasn't dressed in a respectable way so she asked for it.” “ I don’t respect her so I am not going to allow her to (insert basic human function here).” Another example is “ I had to do (insert violent act here) because I was disrespected and I am not going to put up with that.”

So back to that glorious dress...

Even though I saw nothing wrong with her clothing choice, the responses that came as a result of her clothing choice bothered me because they exist within a space that essentially supports rape culture. (that's a topic for another blog) And it uses the justification of something we all hold dearly (respect) to support these actions so it is easy to get the masses behind those thoughts...because we ALL want to be “respected” right?

Unfortunately, someone decided to tell society that EVERYONE DESERVES RESPECT and based off the definitions I've disucussed, not only is it not true, it may be impossible. What have you done that is worthy of admiration because that is the only time you “deserve” to be respected...

To be honest, there's really only one thing we “deserve” and that is to be treated humanely. In no way shape or form does my clothing choice take away from my ability to be human. Yet time and time again we use clothing to determine a person's humaneness...because we use clothing to determine whether or not a person is worthy of our “respect” and we equate respect with humaneness.
Don't believe me, see the quotes below.

His clothes are fresh and clean but he's begging for money...what a scammer I'm not giving him any food, he probably spent all his money on clothes.

She's wearing that mini dress, I can see why her rapist thought the sex was consensual. She should just drop the charges, everyone knows that's the kind of outfit you wear when you're looking to get laid.

He's wearing a hoodie, he's a thug he must be out to get me, I must protect myself.

We live in a society that tells us not to judge people by their appearance (unless it's their clothing then it's OK). And sometimes the conclusions we make about people based on those appearances can be a hazard to the lives of others due to our inability to control our behavior.


While it is your personal choice as to whether or not a person “deserves” your “respect”, a person's humanity should never up for debate. Simply put, a person does not loose their rights as a person because you have chosen not to respect them. The problem is though, that people in our society equate lack of respect with it being OK to treat people in a shitty manner.

There isn't another way to say it, people use the concept of respect to justify rape, murder and pillage all the time...

But yea

I wear short shorts and even shorter dresses and since I cut up on the dance floor while wearing the aforementioned items. I wear dark make-up and I can probably do better pole tricks than your favorite stripper. I curse, I burp and fart without saying excuse me(when I'm at home lol). I could go on and on... You may no longer respect me as a person as a result of it. None of these things means that it is OK for you to treat me as less than a human. And until we stop equating a lack of “respect” with a lack of humanity, this world is gonna be a hard place to live in....

Friday, May 16, 2014

Can you Support Me? I dont know how many likes you got already?

For those that do not know, I've recently started a fund raising campaign [ *insert shameless plug here* http://www.gofundme.com/8g6bf0 ] and as a result, have found myself in the position where on a daily basis I've had to ask people for help [see here to read more about that struggle] Naturally, I have also become more aware of other people asking for help, yet everyday links go by unshared and un-liked.

I know it is unrealistic to expect everyone to support your cause but I find it....interesting that I struggle sometimes to get 10 likes on what I have been told is an important cause yet a statement I made on someone’s status about Felicia from Friday has gotten 20 something likes [and still counting.] The lack of action (liking, sharing etc.) compared to the amount of people who have verbalized they want to help got me to thinking....

What is it that makes simply liking or sharing a status so difficult to do? I have a couple theories one is the bystander effect and one is the appearance that people are trying to keep up, their “social identities” if you will.

I'm going to talk about the bystander effect first because that's a “real” thing. By “real” I mean that it is a concept that is already well accepted in fields like sociology and psychology. The second theory I have about people's desire to uphold a certain image is more so based on my personal experience. But any who on to the bystander effect.

I can't talk about that without talking about altruism: which essentially is the act of helping some one for “self less” reasons meaning you basically help them because you want to, not because your trying to accomplish a certain goal but simply because you want to help. Naturally this is a trait that humans have. And we do selfless things all the time even when we don't have to. The easiest example that comes to mind is when you allow someone to turn in front of you from a parking lot or something even though in theory you had no reason to slow down.

The Bystander effect is what happens when a person needs help amongst a group of people and even though everyone is aware help is NEEDED, no one DOES anything because they assume the next person has it. But if everyone assumes that someone else is taking care of the issue at hand, WHO exactly is supposed to ACTUALLY help (you KNOW what happens when assumptions are made) Our “victim” is left to fend for his or herself. This is a sociological construct that exists without us consciously acting on it as such a change in this behavior takes a conscious effort.

When it comes to “support” [or rather lack thereof ] people in their various different endeavors, I believe the Bystander Effect affects [yes I am a lil bit of a grammar snob lol ] our ability as well as our intentions when it comes to supporting others. Instead of liking or sharing when we see someone is in need, even when we do support the cause, we pass on the opportunity because we assume this person has enough support from the other people in their circle. I know this to be the case because I have seen this behavior manifested in my own behaviors. I've such been making a conscious effort to be more supportive when it is something I truly believe in. But I’ve only been able to make this change because I am aware of the social effect as well as my own behaviors and have chosen to do something about them.

The OTHER reason I think we show a lack of support is because we are too concerned with what other people think of us. We don't want to be “the first liker” or be seen supporting something “lame.” We worry incessantly about what other people think of us. I see this come up especially when it comes to people sharing their music. Many people are “uncomfortable” with the idea of liking something that is not “main stream” and on the radio.

I’ve literally seen people cringe when you suggest listening to an “underground” artists yet they will drop mad money on someone who doesn't even care about them as a person...I digress. The point is, because people are so overly concerned with their appearance, both physically and in person, they bypass opportunities because “it isn't what the cool people are doing.” This behavior does not necessarily have to be conscious as some people are so deeply intertwined into their appearances they no longer have any idea who they are.

Now what does any of this have to do with you? As I stated earlier, I've noticed that a lot of people are out basically trying to make things happen for themselves,(which I think is absolutely fantabulous by the way) they are also looking for support to help them do it. Yet, I don't observe nearly as much supporting as I do asking for support. That makes little logical sense to me....

I just don’t understand how you can post your music, poems, pictures all day, expect people to look at them and marvel at them yet you show no attention to the works of others. Like for instance, I take pole classes (its fun you should try it) and I post pictures of myself on social media....I also follow a lot of people who ALSO take pole classes. I like, and comment on their pictures, show my online friends etc. Who better to get to look at my pictures that people who are already interested in the activity?!?!?!?

Life is better when you have support from others. It is also a lot easier to GET support if you are showing those around you what support actually looks like because I think that is something that we really don’t have a good grasp of as people today.

Personally, I enjoy supporting people that I know, be it financially, emotionally, spiritually and yes even if it is as simple as a like or share on facebook. Even though I am guilty of saying it, it is time to stop fronting and accept that social media is a real part of our actual life. There are people behind these keyboards and your like, kind words, share and even “small” monetary supports do in fact make a difference in the lives of people around the world.

People often complain about the state of today and of the world and how they wish they could help. Well you CAN help. The next time you see someone share a music link, take a few moments to listen to it, or read that poem, look at that picture, donate your fast food money for the day to a worthy cause.

So in addition to spreading awareness about Mental Health, I'm also going to make it my business to SHOW people how to SUPPORT people. Real talk, the only hope we have for society today ( ESPECIALLY here in America) is if we start supporting each other in our endeavors now. Because if we don't, the majority of people will continue to suffer and scramble for resources.
I just want people to realize that we don't HAVE to depend on corporations etc. to get the things we need. There are oodles and oodles of amazing ideas right here within our reach if only we lifted a hand...



And now I'm off to finish painting
-Atiya

Thursday, May 1, 2014

*whispers* help

Asking for help....is much easier said than done

After starting my fund raising campaign, I found out that May actually happens to be Mental Health Awareness Month which is fantastic.

I decided I was going to make it my business to spread as much knowledge and awareness as I could. My intents for this very first “awareness” blog was to talk about self care because it is essential to overall good mental health...

Then I realized something that can truly serve as a barrier to services and that's being able to ask for help. I know this is a struggle for some people because it is a personal struggle I deal with. Any of my family and friends will tell you, I RARELY ask for help, especially if I feel like I know “what to do.”

Some might think it is a positive trait to be so self sufficient and while that trait does have benefits, it also comes along with risks. It at times takes me longer to accomplish things and I don't always get the optimal results. Some times I miss out on stuff (like work out classes this week...Big Red has been out of commission since last Saturday and as such, I’ve missed all my classes because I didn't want to inconvenience anyone by having to drop me off and pick me up.)

The point is, I often struggle with asking for assistance and while in my day to day life this does not tend to have a major impact, I've noticed that many people take this same stance when it comes to getting assistance with mental health concerns. I've had so many clients tell me that it was extremely difficult to come in and ask for assistance, even though the whole purpose of my profession is to provide said assistance.

Western society in particular encourages a very individualistic way of thinking which I believe encourages the idea that it is shameful to ask for assistance. Many of us find ourselves in the position where we are told that getting help makes us less of a person. We keep things buried inside and we fail to reach our potential because we aren’t fully utilizing the resources that are available to us...

The reality of the situation is there are some instances where we require assistance from other people (whether we want to admit it or not.) It's not enough to simply admit that one needs help, you also must get your help from the correct source if it is to be useful to you. I've often heard people say “I don't need a therapist I have (insert trusted friend, family member etc.) here.

When it comes to mental health, sometimes a professional is needed. For instance, as much as your friend may know about muscles and joints, if your bones are broken, you go and get assistance from a professional. It's one thing to cheer a friend up when they are feeling a little blue, but it's another thing to try and cheer up a friend who has locked themselves in a room for two weeks because they are extremely depressed.

My job is not simply “talking to people about their problems”, my job is to help people get a better picture of themselves so that they can make decisions that will lead to fulfilling lives. As a trained and licensed therapist, I have taught myself how to minimize the impact of my emotions on my interactions with my clients. I give unbiased advice regardless of my own personal convictions and allow my clients to make their own decisions. In addition, I am bound by HIPPA guidelines and as such can not divulge any of the information that you share with me without your prior consent.

Everyone could benefit from an unbiased person who is both legally and ethically bound to confidentiality. This is not something that I could say about any of my friends or family (though I love and appreciate them dearly.) Additionally, because our friends and family tend to “know each other” it is a lot more likely that they will be tempted to spill compared to a therapist. As a therapist, you would see me 2-4 times a month and that's it. I wouldn't be at your home, at your workplace or at your school. You don't have to worry about me getting intoxicated at the family reunion and accidentally revealing your darkest secrets.

But seriously

I know there are people who endure tragedies and never get a chance to talk to people about them. They think that they are OK, but in reality every experience you have impacts the way that you go through life. Burying secrets within yourself does not make them go away; when people try to “hold things in” what often happens is the undue stress on the psyche “forces” the emotion out in other ways. Sometimes it's anger, sometimes it's depression and sometimes it's trouble in interpersonal relationships.

When you fail to process emotions and situations, it makes it more likely that you will need a therapist because when things get to the point where you are not in control of your emotions, it is doubtful that advice from a friend will have a marked impact. Again, this isn't to say that friends aren't important, it's just that you have to know when you need a friend and when you need professional assistance.

One of the goals that I have as a therapist is to make it easier for people to both identify when they need help and feel more comfortable asking for it. I plan to do this by spreading as much knowledge about mental health as possible to normalize the subject. Eventually, I want people to be able to say “I have an appointment with the therapist” as easily as they can say I have an appointment to get my nails done.

I want to provide mobile therapy services to help improve access to mental health services in my community. Help me help people to help themselves by checking out my fund-raising campaign below!!





-Atiya

Monday, April 21, 2014

Why Collect Donations??

When you believe in something strongly and whole-hardheartedly, I believe it's only natural to want to share it with the world. I want to make it my business to touch as many lives as possible doing something that I actually happen to be very good at(and people need.)

Mental illness is REAL. By creating a gofund me campaign, I'm not just raising money for a van, I'm raising awareness to mental health. I also hope to inspire other therapists to provide similar services as transportation can be a major barrier to overall good health. In addition, lack of convenience can also be a barrier to good health and this is an obstacle that my campaign could help to overcome.

I am not, nor have I ever been concerned with making a lot of money. I do know my worth but I'm not completely money driven. I share my idea because I WANT other people to copy it. I WANT other people to be inspired by it and create even better ideas that can help battle mental health in our communities.

If I simply “raised the money on my own” my idea would just be a good one. By reaching out and trying to gather donations, my idea becomes a GREAT one. Supporting me supports the idea that we as humans need to be more connected as a whole. I want to encourage people to work together for a common cause. Ideally, I'd like to have 4,500 people all donate a dollar because that means that 4,500 people are aware of the desperate need of mental health services in our communities. People who are aware can spread awareness to others and the cycle will continue.

Perhaps by seeing me do something, I can inspire someone else to get more involved in THEIR community. I fully intend on being the change I want to see. I want to live in a world where people care about their neighbors be they neighboring homes, states or countries. I plan on doing whatever I can to encourage an environment where humans feel connected to their fellow humans.

I want to make something VERY clear. I am not trying to raise money simply because I quit my job. I'm GOING to continue to work. I will be working UNTIL this happens. I am a LICENSED clinician so just because I quit working as a therapist for a certain company does not mean I have quit being a therapist. As a licensed clinician, I am qualified to provide mental health services to any person who deems me to be a fit provider. The client base is already there and I will seek them out.

When I came to Nashville, I got a job because I was looking to learn more about my community and I wanted to get a good feel for how the community operated. I could have very easily just handed out business cards and immediately went into private practice; I chose not to because I wanted to learn. Some wondered why I even worked there BECAUSE everyone knew that I was licensed and could rather easily go into practice on my own.

I know I could go the traditional route and save money or borrow from a bank but again that would not bring enough ATTENTION to what I am doing. I have CHOSEN this path because I want to start a movement...

Please if you can check out the link below

http://www.gofundme.com/8g6bf0

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Thoughts about Big Business

I am a hippie...a modern day hippie but a hippie nonetheless and all that entails. 

I finally got around to starting a garden yesterday...and I made my plot the old fashion way....my husband and I dug up the grass and pulled the roots up....it is hard work and we are no where near complete. I eat salad for snacks and love to love. I stand by my convictions and am more concerned with enjoying life than with acquiring things. I don't shop at Walmart or eat McDonald's because they're both terrible corporations. I don't drink bottled water because many of the mainstream water bottling companies buy water from poor communities and then sell it back at rates they can not afford.

I know there are some corporations in the world that are “good” or at least better than the average but overall, I prefer to support small business. The reason being is that small businesses seem to place higher value the individual experience compared to corporations which tend to value money/profit. Some corporations are so focused on money that they will risk the health, sanity or financial stability of the customer for the sake of profit.

Money is a man made construct and in and of it self has no value. It's the services and the goods that you receive in exchange that have tangible value. Money is only valuable in theory.

Any who, my old job was productivity based...which makes sense except I worked with people...people who struggled with substance abuse addiction so their attendance was not always....reliable per say. In order to meet productivity expectations, you would need to see at least 7 people a day for 40 minutes sessions. That doesn't sound so bad right? well remember that attendance inconsistency I just mentioned, in order to have a chance at meeting our productivity requirements, we would schedule at least 14 people a day because inevitably someone would show up.

My workload bounced back and forth between two extremes...having nothing to do and having EVERYTHING to do...more times than not, it was having everything to do. When things started to become overwhelming, i initially tried to pretend as if things weren't that bad...truth be told though, it was terrible for me...

Because instead of being looked at as a person who provided a service, I was looked at as a robot that performed a function...and it seemed like all the people on top cared about was whether or not the robots were working as efficiently as they could.

When you take this and combine it with the fact that my job was to help people cope with their problems, it certainly makes for a stressful  situation. 

I was able to handle all of this stress until the sudden suicide of my supervisor last month. After his untimely demise, it became increasingly difficult to cope with the various happenings at my former place of employment. Though I was certainly appreciative of his presence while he was alive, I regret that I did not fully realize the positive impact he had on our work space until he was no longer apart of said space...

and so I made the most impulsive move I've ever made in my life...The Queen of responsibility walked out of a stable job because it did not line up with my personal values and beliefs. I only have one life to live and it is so important to me to make sure that everything I do supports everything I am. 

If you could take out some time to visit http://www.gofundme.com/8g6bf0 and check out my fundraising campaign to help start my mobile therapy business it would be greatly appreciated. I think it's a worthy cause and I am excited about being able to help my community. 

Peace & Love
-Atiya


Saturday, April 19, 2014

Help me Help the community!


Allow me to introduce myself

My name is Atiya and I am 27 years old. All my childhood life I wanted to be a teacher...I really was a "nerd" growing up! I truly enjoyed things like playing school and books were my best friends. My mom said that she used to have to force me outside and when I did go, I took books and a blanket...lol (i think there are pictures to confirm this). I vividly remember doing workbooks at home(and enjoying it) and also playing school with my cousin Nakia (I liked being the student).

When I was 10 years old, I saw a movie called Harriet the Spy (Its an awesome movie you should check it out if you haven’t seen it btw) In one part of the movie, she was forced to see what I believe was a child psychologist. He sat down with her and asked her about her feelings and his room was filled with games and toys. That was the day I changed my mind about what I wanted to be. I decided that I wanted to be a Therapist, I wanted to talk to people about their issues for a living.

I could go on and on about what happened in the 17 years that I transpired between that decision and now but long story short, I earned a couple degrees, got married, moved away all while meeting some fantastic people along the way. So fast forward to today...Or yesterday rather. I quit my job.

After spending an entire hour dreading going to work, I realized that I had laid in the bed feeling like that too many times before going to work....especially since the unexpected suicide of my former supervisor about a month ago. As I sat pondering as to whether or not I really wanted to live the rest of my life like that, I did what many people do when they're looking for advice...I called my mommy.

I told her I think I want to quit my job...and she basically said go for it! So with no back up plan, no next step, I walked into my supervisor's office and told her I quit. That is like a SUPER huge deal for me because as my family friends will tell you....I'm the poster child for responsible decisions.

I still totally want to do therapy but I have a few other talents too. As I was pondering with my husband as to what I wanted to do next, I came up with a fantastic idea...and that brings me to the purpose of this message. I want to provide therapy for people who need it but not at the expense of changing myself as a person. There's no other way to say it...I don't shop at Walmart because I don’t support who they are as a corporation...and somehow I found myself working at the Walmart of mental health. I do not want to live my life in contrast to my beliefs so that I can “make a living.”

But I need your help to do it. I want to provide therapy for people where I can come to them and we can meet on site in a van. That way people who have trouble with transportation can still receive the psychotherapy services that they need. Also, for people who don’t have the time during their day to go and meet with their therapist, a mobile therapy service could meet them where they eat lunch.

The van would provide people with a safe, comfortable space to address their mental health concerns with qualified providers at a time and place that is convenient for them. I know some people have concerns about confidentiality and people being seen but I plan to utilize an unlabeled van and on the inside, you would never know you were in a van. Now I know some of you are thinking “why should I help her?” Here's 3 reasons why:

  1. Anyone who knows me knows that I make it my business to support small business especially community business. By supporting me, you will not only be supporting me, you will be helping me to support small business. I plan to give back to the community by donating advertising spaces to the different businesses in my community instead of advertising myself on the van. Also, if a person would happen to be seen getting into the van, it would further protect their confidentiality because it would not indicate that it was a mental health van. I will also use the money I earn providing therapy to continue to support the small businesses in my community. 
  2. I'm not your “typical therapist” and what I mean by that is this:  I don't believe in labeling people and doping them up. If it weren't for insurance requirements, I honestly wouldn't diagnose at all. I believe in respect for people their thoughts and differences. The types of therapy services I provide focus on helping people to appreciate the person who they are and cope with the symptoms they have. Though I believe that some people can benefit from medication, I do not/am not trained to prescribe it and I firmly believe that many mental health concerns can be appropriately addressed with psychotherapy alone. My primary focus is helping people to make sure that the behaviors they are displaying are lining up with the outcomes they seek.
  3. Once I am more established as a private clinician, it is a personal goal of mine to develop a barter system so that people in need of mental health services will be able to offer goods/services in exchange for treatment. This would be done instead of requiring people to pay money or utilize insurance benefits.This way, no one is prevented from having access to beneficial services that they may need. Eventually, this will help lay the groundwork for communities that are more sustainable. 


I just want to live out my dreams...and they say you never know what help you can get until you ask for it. I never ask for help, but I also never quit my job either soooo there's kinda a first time for everything right? I wrote this blog to give people some quick background information because I'm starting a fund-raising page to make this happen. I have not been blogging lately but I also plan to do a series of personal “get to know me better blogs” for anyone who may be interested in knowing more about me...I do have a lot of free time now...

Please check out my fundraising site at http://www.gofundme.com/8g6bfo