Can you Support Me? I dont know how many likes you got already?

For those that do not know, I've recently started a fund raising campaign [ *insert shameless plug here* http://www.gofundme.com/8g6bf0 ] and as a result, have found myself in the position where on a daily basis I've had to ask people for help [see here to read more about that struggle] Naturally, I have also become more aware of other people asking for help, yet everyday links go by unshared and un-liked.

I know it is unrealistic to expect everyone to support your cause but I find it....interesting that I struggle sometimes to get 10 likes on what I have been told is an important cause yet a statement I made on someone’s status about Felicia from Friday has gotten 20 something likes [and still counting.] The lack of action (liking, sharing etc.) compared to the amount of people who have verbalized they want to help got me to thinking....

What is it that makes simply liking or sharing a status so difficult to do? I have a couple theories one is the bystander effect and one is the appearance that people are trying to keep up, their “social identities” if you will.

I'm going to talk about the bystander effect first because that's a “real” thing. By “real” I mean that it is a concept that is already well accepted in fields like sociology and psychology. The second theory I have about people's desire to uphold a certain image is more so based on my personal experience. But any who on to the bystander effect.

I can't talk about that without talking about altruism: which essentially is the act of helping some one for “self less” reasons meaning you basically help them because you want to, not because your trying to accomplish a certain goal but simply because you want to help. Naturally this is a trait that humans have. And we do selfless things all the time even when we don't have to. The easiest example that comes to mind is when you allow someone to turn in front of you from a parking lot or something even though in theory you had no reason to slow down.

The Bystander effect is what happens when a person needs help amongst a group of people and even though everyone is aware help is NEEDED, no one DOES anything because they assume the next person has it. But if everyone assumes that someone else is taking care of the issue at hand, WHO exactly is supposed to ACTUALLY help (you KNOW what happens when assumptions are made) Our “victim” is left to fend for his or herself. This is a sociological construct that exists without us consciously acting on it as such a change in this behavior takes a conscious effort.

When it comes to “support” [or rather lack thereof ] people in their various different endeavors, I believe the Bystander Effect affects [yes I am a lil bit of a grammar snob lol ] our ability as well as our intentions when it comes to supporting others. Instead of liking or sharing when we see someone is in need, even when we do support the cause, we pass on the opportunity because we assume this person has enough support from the other people in their circle. I know this to be the case because I have seen this behavior manifested in my own behaviors. I've such been making a conscious effort to be more supportive when it is something I truly believe in. But I’ve only been able to make this change because I am aware of the social effect as well as my own behaviors and have chosen to do something about them.

The OTHER reason I think we show a lack of support is because we are too concerned with what other people think of us. We don't want to be “the first liker” or be seen supporting something “lame.” We worry incessantly about what other people think of us. I see this come up especially when it comes to people sharing their music. Many people are “uncomfortable” with the idea of liking something that is not “main stream” and on the radio.

I’ve literally seen people cringe when you suggest listening to an “underground” artists yet they will drop mad money on someone who doesn't even care about them as a person...I digress. The point is, because people are so overly concerned with their appearance, both physically and in person, they bypass opportunities because “it isn't what the cool people are doing.” This behavior does not necessarily have to be conscious as some people are so deeply intertwined into their appearances they no longer have any idea who they are.

Now what does any of this have to do with you? As I stated earlier, I've noticed that a lot of people are out basically trying to make things happen for themselves,(which I think is absolutely fantabulous by the way) they are also looking for support to help them do it. Yet, I don't observe nearly as much supporting as I do asking for support. That makes little logical sense to me....

I just don’t understand how you can post your music, poems, pictures all day, expect people to look at them and marvel at them yet you show no attention to the works of others. Like for instance, I take pole classes (its fun you should try it) and I post pictures of myself on social media....I also follow a lot of people who ALSO take pole classes. I like, and comment on their pictures, show my online friends etc. Who better to get to look at my pictures that people who are already interested in the activity?!?!?!?

Life is better when you have support from others. It is also a lot easier to GET support if you are showing those around you what support actually looks like because I think that is something that we really don’t have a good grasp of as people today.

Personally, I enjoy supporting people that I know, be it financially, emotionally, spiritually and yes even if it is as simple as a like or share on facebook. Even though I am guilty of saying it, it is time to stop fronting and accept that social media is a real part of our actual life. There are people behind these keyboards and your like, kind words, share and even “small” monetary supports do in fact make a difference in the lives of people around the world.

People often complain about the state of today and of the world and how they wish they could help. Well you CAN help. The next time you see someone share a music link, take a few moments to listen to it, or read that poem, look at that picture, donate your fast food money for the day to a worthy cause.

So in addition to spreading awareness about Mental Health, I'm also going to make it my business to SHOW people how to SUPPORT people. Real talk, the only hope we have for society today ( ESPECIALLY here in America) is if we start supporting each other in our endeavors now. Because if we don't, the majority of people will continue to suffer and scramble for resources.
I just want people to realize that we don't HAVE to depend on corporations etc. to get the things we need. There are oodles and oodles of amazing ideas right here within our reach if only we lifted a hand...



And now I'm off to finish painting
-Atiya