Thursday, May 1, 2014

*whispers* help

Asking for help....is much easier said than done

After starting my fund raising campaign, I found out that May actually happens to be Mental Health Awareness Month which is fantastic.

I decided I was going to make it my business to spread as much knowledge and awareness as I could. My intents for this very first “awareness” blog was to talk about self care because it is essential to overall good mental health...

Then I realized something that can truly serve as a barrier to services and that's being able to ask for help. I know this is a struggle for some people because it is a personal struggle I deal with. Any of my family and friends will tell you, I RARELY ask for help, especially if I feel like I know “what to do.”

Some might think it is a positive trait to be so self sufficient and while that trait does have benefits, it also comes along with risks. It at times takes me longer to accomplish things and I don't always get the optimal results. Some times I miss out on stuff (like work out classes this week...Big Red has been out of commission since last Saturday and as such, I’ve missed all my classes because I didn't want to inconvenience anyone by having to drop me off and pick me up.)

The point is, I often struggle with asking for assistance and while in my day to day life this does not tend to have a major impact, I've noticed that many people take this same stance when it comes to getting assistance with mental health concerns. I've had so many clients tell me that it was extremely difficult to come in and ask for assistance, even though the whole purpose of my profession is to provide said assistance.

Western society in particular encourages a very individualistic way of thinking which I believe encourages the idea that it is shameful to ask for assistance. Many of us find ourselves in the position where we are told that getting help makes us less of a person. We keep things buried inside and we fail to reach our potential because we aren’t fully utilizing the resources that are available to us...

The reality of the situation is there are some instances where we require assistance from other people (whether we want to admit it or not.) It's not enough to simply admit that one needs help, you also must get your help from the correct source if it is to be useful to you. I've often heard people say “I don't need a therapist I have (insert trusted friend, family member etc.) here.

When it comes to mental health, sometimes a professional is needed. For instance, as much as your friend may know about muscles and joints, if your bones are broken, you go and get assistance from a professional. It's one thing to cheer a friend up when they are feeling a little blue, but it's another thing to try and cheer up a friend who has locked themselves in a room for two weeks because they are extremely depressed.

My job is not simply “talking to people about their problems”, my job is to help people get a better picture of themselves so that they can make decisions that will lead to fulfilling lives. As a trained and licensed therapist, I have taught myself how to minimize the impact of my emotions on my interactions with my clients. I give unbiased advice regardless of my own personal convictions and allow my clients to make their own decisions. In addition, I am bound by HIPPA guidelines and as such can not divulge any of the information that you share with me without your prior consent.

Everyone could benefit from an unbiased person who is both legally and ethically bound to confidentiality. This is not something that I could say about any of my friends or family (though I love and appreciate them dearly.) Additionally, because our friends and family tend to “know each other” it is a lot more likely that they will be tempted to spill compared to a therapist. As a therapist, you would see me 2-4 times a month and that's it. I wouldn't be at your home, at your workplace or at your school. You don't have to worry about me getting intoxicated at the family reunion and accidentally revealing your darkest secrets.

But seriously

I know there are people who endure tragedies and never get a chance to talk to people about them. They think that they are OK, but in reality every experience you have impacts the way that you go through life. Burying secrets within yourself does not make them go away; when people try to “hold things in” what often happens is the undue stress on the psyche “forces” the emotion out in other ways. Sometimes it's anger, sometimes it's depression and sometimes it's trouble in interpersonal relationships.

When you fail to process emotions and situations, it makes it more likely that you will need a therapist because when things get to the point where you are not in control of your emotions, it is doubtful that advice from a friend will have a marked impact. Again, this isn't to say that friends aren't important, it's just that you have to know when you need a friend and when you need professional assistance.

One of the goals that I have as a therapist is to make it easier for people to both identify when they need help and feel more comfortable asking for it. I plan to do this by spreading as much knowledge about mental health as possible to normalize the subject. Eventually, I want people to be able to say “I have an appointment with the therapist” as easily as they can say I have an appointment to get my nails done.

I want to provide mobile therapy services to help improve access to mental health services in my community. Help me help people to help themselves by checking out my fund-raising campaign below!!





-Atiya

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