Asking for help....is much easier said
than done
After starting my fund raising
campaign, I found out that May actually happens to be Mental
Health Awareness Month which is
fantastic.
I
decided I was going to make it my business to spread as much
knowledge and awareness as I could. My intents for this very first
“awareness” blog was to talk about self care because it is
essential to overall good mental health...
Then
I realized something that can truly serve as a barrier to services
and that's being able to ask for help. I know this is a struggle for
some people because it is a personal struggle I deal with. Any of my
family and friends will tell you, I RARELY ask for help, especially
if I feel like I know “what to do.”
Some
might think it is a positive trait to be so self sufficient and while
that trait does have benefits, it also comes along with risks. It at
times takes me longer to accomplish things and I don't always get the
optimal results. Some times I miss out on stuff (like work out
classes this week...Big Red has been out of commission since last
Saturday and as such, I’ve missed all my classes because I didn't
want to inconvenience anyone by having to drop me off and pick me
up.)
The
point is, I often struggle with asking for assistance and while in my
day to day life this does not tend to have a major impact, I've
noticed that many people take this same stance when it comes to
getting assistance with mental health concerns. I've had so many
clients tell me that it was extremely difficult to come in and ask
for assistance, even though the whole purpose of my profession is to
provide said assistance.
Western
society in particular encourages a very individualistic way of
thinking which I believe encourages the idea that it is shameful to
ask for assistance. Many of us find ourselves in the position where
we are told that getting help makes us less of a person. We keep
things buried inside and we fail to reach our potential because we
aren’t fully utilizing the resources that are available to us...
The
reality of the situation is there are some instances where we require
assistance from other people (whether we want to admit it or not.)
It's not enough to simply admit that one needs help, you also must
get your help from the correct source if it is to be useful to you.
I've often heard people say “I don't need a therapist I have
(insert trusted friend,
family member etc.) here.
When
it comes to mental health, sometimes a professional is needed. For
instance, as much as your friend may know about muscles and joints,
if your bones are broken, you go and get assistance from a
professional. It's one thing to cheer a friend up when they are
feeling a little blue, but it's another thing to try and cheer up a
friend who has locked themselves in a room for two weeks because they
are extremely depressed.
My
job is not simply “talking to people about their problems”, my
job is to help people get a better picture of themselves so that they
can make decisions that will lead to fulfilling lives. As a trained
and licensed therapist, I have taught myself how to minimize the
impact of my emotions on my interactions with my clients. I give
unbiased advice regardless of my own personal convictions and allow
my clients to make their own decisions. In addition, I am bound by
HIPPA guidelines and as such can not divulge any of the information
that you share with me without your prior consent.
Everyone
could benefit from an unbiased person who is both legally and
ethically bound to confidentiality. This is not something that I
could say about any of my friends or family (though I love and
appreciate them dearly.) Additionally, because our friends and family
tend to “know each other” it is a lot more likely that they will
be tempted to spill compared to a therapist. As a therapist, you
would see me 2-4 times a month and that's it. I wouldn't be at your
home, at your workplace or at your school. You don't have to worry
about me getting intoxicated at the family reunion and accidentally
revealing your darkest secrets.
But
seriously
I
know there are people who endure tragedies and never get a chance to
talk to people about them. They think that they are OK, but in
reality every experience you have impacts the way that you go through
life. Burying secrets within yourself does not make them go away;
when people try to “hold things in” what often happens is the
undue stress on the psyche “forces” the emotion out in other
ways. Sometimes it's anger, sometimes it's depression and sometimes
it's trouble in interpersonal relationships.
When
you fail to process emotions and situations, it makes it more likely
that you will need a therapist because when things get to the point
where you are not in control of your emotions, it is doubtful that
advice from a friend will have a marked impact. Again, this isn't to
say that friends aren't important, it's just that you have to know
when you need a friend and when you need professional assistance.
One
of the goals that I have as a therapist is to make it easier for
people to both identify when they need help and feel more comfortable
asking for it. I plan to do this by spreading as much knowledge about
mental health as possible to normalize the subject. Eventually, I
want people to be able to say “I have an appointment with the
therapist” as easily as they can say I have an appointment to get
my nails done.
I
want to provide mobile therapy services to help improve access to
mental health services in my community. Help me help people to help
themselves by checking out my fund-raising campaign below!!
-Atiya
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