Right to Religion

its early for a Saturday & I'm super congested...both in the nose & on the brain. My head is stuffed literally & figuratively. The only way to cope is for me to "unstuff" myself by unloading some of these thoughts

My husband is smart as shit. He's like a genius or something. We don't always agree, but one of the things I enjoy about our relationship is the fact that we can always have discourse about a variety of topics no matter how different out ideas are. So while it may seem as if we are in constant agreement, WE AREN'T!!!! so if I'm parroting his beliefs its b/c I believe something about them too.

With that being said, it was my husband who 1st introduced the idea to me that religion is about YOUR relationship with YOUR creator. Since then my belief system gradually began to change/evolve into something that worked FOR ME!!

Unfortunately for some, that does not entail going down the road to Christianity or any organized religion for that matter, at least not at this time in my life. As of late, I have come to the personal conclusion that different religions/should of thought exist because we are all different people. Different people require different motivation to keep their morals in check. Different people need different explanations for the various events that occur in their life. People need information & tactics that will alike them to persevere in their part of the world while still ultimately contributing to society & being productive people.

So as long as Im not being an evil person...& even if I am, it's really no ones business but mine & my Creator as to where my actions will eventually lead me. Now onto my concerns with Christianity & why it CANNOT work for ME!!

Ultimately, I believe that no religion is inherently evil. Even worshipers of Satan are not telling people to explicitly go out & cause harm to others. However when you have organized religion, that is when the goals of people can be used to manipulate the available information in order to meet their means...That to me is the definition of evil...manipulation of a situation so that you as a person can benefit no matter the cost to others. Many organized religions are used for evil purposes. Two of the "Big Three" Abrahamic religions I feel were specifically created to control people. The third I can't speak on as I'm not very familiar with their practices.

I'm not here to talk about Islam though b/c that religion wasn't created utilized to enslave MY people. By that I mean black people in the United States. The Bible is not a book that was authored from start to finish by one person or even a group of similar people. It's a collection of books written in various languages by hoards of people then the "Best" books were selected to be utilized as the Holy word... So even if I take every word as true[which is impossible in my opinion as I've made it to Chronicles & there have already been several contradictions, not to mention that the God of the old testament comes off as extremely vengeful] I can not ignore the fact that somethings could have been lost in translation...& this same book was used in these united states to keep people enslaved....even though it's been indicated that the story of Christ is a remake of stories that were already in existence...& those stories were created by the ancestors of the people that christianity was used to enslave but that's a topic for another day...

Christianity is a fairly new religion in comparison to the age of the world. I find it difficult to understand how if humans have been around for ages upon ages & suddenly just now in the last 2 millennia we've "suddenly gotten it right" & subsequently, all of our ancestors died in vain b/c they have not accepted white Jesus as their Lord & Savoir. I disagree with the idea that everyone was born into sin, I disagree with the idea that we are inherently unworthy which is different IMO from being undeserving. I also disagree with the idea that those who are doing well are blessed b/c that implies that other people are being cursed [the opposite of a blessing afterall]

I disagree with a lot of stuff. & what that tells me is not that Christianity is wrong but that christianity is not for me. I try to refrain from talking shout these tropics as I'm not in the business of being offensive but I would like to make my thoughts known b/c they are crowding my head due to life conversations.

The point is this. I don't think there its a right religion. I think that everyone does what its best for them based on the type of person The Creator made them to be. I do take offense when I'm told that my thoughts/beliefs are not true, or are thought of as a "moral cop out" I don't think its OK to try & get people to see your religious light...because your light is for you just like your medications are prescribed to you & you only. We silo get our spiritual needs from different places & different spaces. If you can't find something that works for you then CREATE SOMETHING!!!! I know ours hard to believe but will religion & concepts in general were novel ayyyy done point. Add people change & evolve, so do their needs

As for my beliefs & needs....I don't feel like I need church at this point in my life. & if I was truly honest with myself I have NEVER been comfortable in church or participating in organized religion in general. As an adult, I'm not going to put myself in places that make me feel uncomfortable b/c I'm also a firm believer in listening to your mind heart & body. If your honest with yourself, your moral compass will let you know of you've fucked up or not....& its your responsibility as a person to make the best decision for you.

Virtual balls of STEEL

So,  I had started this blog a couple of weeks ago and never got around to finishing it. And then today happened...so I decided to start over...so same subject new content...[even though you never saw the original content LOL]

Anywho About today...basically, long story short, My husband made a comment on a Facebook status today. The subject was about marching band. A person who disagreed with something he had to say proceeded to talk mad shit about my husband in all aspects of his life...because he disagreed with his statement about band.

Now mind you, my hunny has rather thick skin so while it didn't bother him per say, it still reminded me of the blog that I started a couple weeks ago. It brings up the subject of this blog....virtual balls of steel aka keyboard confidence.

As I engage on my various social network sites, I have noticed two trends: 1. People are insanely rude on the internet, 2. The things that they tend to say we all know for the most part they would not say in person. I'll start with start with my first point....

People are insanely rude on the internet...

We all know it. And to me, it is unfortunate. It's as if people forget that people are REAL people. The things that they say, the comments that are made are cruel at best. I was talking to one of my best friends earlier today and we were discussing how hate and evil isn't the "norm" or the "default".

What I mean is that humans are wired to love not hate. Hate for the most part is something that is learned or observed. I have several justifications for this hypothesis. I'll only talk about one of them here...otherwise we would be here all day.

One of my jobs requires me to monitor infant development... That sounds really fancy doesn't it?!?!?
Really, I just get paid to play with babies LOL. I know I'm lucky! I hope I can find something similar when I move to Nashville.

Anywho back to the subject. One of the developmental tasks for my babies (mind you most of my clients are under the age of 2) is whether or not they hug or feed a stuffed animal. As they get older, they are expected to try and console an person who appears to be sad or hurt amongst many other things.

Now, emotions are not something that you can teach. You can assign a word to describe an emotion but the fact of the matter is,  you can not "teach" someone how to feel if that makes sense. That is something that occurs within our brain that we actually have no control over (though we CAN control how we respond to a particular emotion)

So the fact that something like showing affection is considered a developmental milestone allows me to believe that we are naturally wired to be kind towards each other. This means that there is something that has happened to our innate nature that has gone horribly wrong. I do not know what this something is.  But I do have a hunch on what is contributing to it

Group Think...

According to the World English Dictionary, group think is defined as a tendency within organizations or society to promote or establish the view of the predominant group. Now if you take the word organization with a grain of salt given social networks aren't organizations per say, this definition is applicable in describing how we interact on the internet today.

There is always going to be one person who has something negative to say.

However, it seems that people are quick to jump on board and utterly destroy people on the internet. I've seen people talk about everything from how a person looks (something they have ZERO control over like facial features) to the food that they choose to prepare to eat. It's as if feelings and remorse are ignored on the internet

It is a lot easier for people to be mean when they see others are already doing it. Point blank period. Just the same way it's easier to say nice things if everyone else is saying them. There are a myriad of reasons why people behave in this way but alas that is not the subject right now.

The point is the phenomena of group think will have a person go against what they know in their heart and mind is right simply necause everyone is doing something differently. Classic studies have already been done that show people will choose the wrong answer just to go along with what the group believes is correct...just to fit in

Now on to the 2nd Point

 The things that they tend to say we all know for the most part they would not say in person.

Does this apply to everyone? No but does this apply to many people? abso fuckin lutely. We've all seen it... Those friends you are following who you know IRL (in real life) and their social media life is nothing like their real one. The ones who brag about things you know they've never done.

Ive noticed that people seem to be more....aggressive for want of a better word on the internet than they are IRL. People threaten to beat, maim, injure and kill people on a daily basis via comments etc. However, if all the threats of violence were true reflections of people's behaviors...we would have a lot more death and destruction IMO

Also, If people were REALLY comfortable saying in person the mean things that they do online, lets just say the world would be a lonelier place because a lot of people would be friendless.  How do I know people aren't saying these things in real life? Because Ive seen people on numerous occasions wish harm on an innocent baby....How many times have you actually heard someone say something like that to a person's face?

And ya know, we as a population need to get these "internet personas" in check quick fast and in a hurry. The  effects of our terrible etiquette is 2 fold. I will begin with the least obvious. When you meet an "internet persona" you only know what the person chooses to share with you. In a nutshell, you could be talkin shit to someone who doesn't take that type of stuff lightly...Or an emotionally unstable serial killer

Maybe because of your snarky comments they wanted physical retribution. What if they clicked on your social network profile and was able to find out everything about you and where you frequent because you use the location app. Maybe this person has an anger management problem.


You have no idea what could lie behind the computer keys. So for your own personal safety...You should be wary of who you choose to harass. It really could be anybody...

The 2nd effect of these virtual balls of steel is that THESE ARE PEOPLE YOU ARE TALKING TOO!!! THEY HAVE FEELINGS....THAT YOU ARE ACTUALLY HURTING. Its not just the internet, this is someone's life.

Cyber bullying is out of control. Somehow the accessibility of the internet has made people think that it is OK to talk to people any old kind of way with ZERO consideration as to how what they say can affect others all in the name of expressing THEIR opinion....We talk about celebrities, we talk about strangers, we talk about our "friends" we talk about everyone


We've all got a responsibility to improve the way that we interact on the internet...Now am I perfect? No. I laugh at some of the pictures that come across my timeline, sometimes I truly cant help it. But will I "like" or share said picture? NEVER!!!!! Because by doing that, I am doing nothing but continuing the cycle. As I stated earlier, you cant control what you feel, You can control how you choose to respond.

I'll close with this. You can choose which side you want to be on. You can be that one person who leaves a positive remark on photo riddled with negative comments...Or if that is too much for you, you could always simply remain neutral and not like or share the photo, comment etc.

It's just not OK to beat people....but you knew that right?

DISCLAIMER: I don’t watch anything on World Star Hip Hop[WSHH] ever...because many of the video descriptions i see from there I don’t agree with, nor can I support. Most often what I see come up are violent portrayals of one incident or another...either someone getting beat up or children being beat... you know things of that nature.

As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, I just tend to stay away from things like that. I don’t share the links for " awareness" and I tend to try not to speak on them in my personal life....because I spend my whole work life doing so if you catch my drift. And i encourage you all to do the same. Sharing and watching the link does no good to help the victims in those situations unless you tell someone who can help...

Recently, there has been a video circulating that depicts a father beating his children with an extension cord for uploading a twerking video onto facebook. As always, i ignored the links on my timeline and refused to share. However, i feel compelled to speak out on this subject because one thing I’ve seen entirely too much of is people SUPPORTING the PERSON who BEAT another PERSON.

Now I have no children, but I do work with children and I’m the eldest of seven children...my youngest sibling just turned 5...I am 26...

Last time I checked, beating people is not OK. Pretty much anywhere you go, Beating a person can land you in jail or in some sort of trouble. If my co worker does something incorrectly, it is not considered acceptable for me to beat said coworker.  So in a society where we are expected not to beat people, why do some feel its OK to beat children when they do something incorrect?

Oh I know why!

Its because children as a whole are NOT respected in our society. Its because we somehow think that by birthing children we OWN them. Its because we believe that as adults, children are inherently supposed to listen to everything that we have to say, that they must respect us regardless of whether WE show THEM respect or not.

To be honest, corporal punishment is the lazy way out. If often instills a sense of fear, rather than respect and teaches children to obey the rules to avoid punishment as opposed to obeying the rules to help society run smoothly. Yes I’m aware that I have no children...

I’ve seen many a parent get frustrated with a child and label it bad simply because they don’t want to do what YOU want them to do. I’m not talking about harmful stuff of course, I’m referring to simple things like eating when THEY feel they are hungry or going to sleep when they are tired. Then to physically beat a child simply because they are their own person to me ridiculous.

Not to mention the fact that beating in and of itself is just not an appropriate way to solve most problems. Are there some instances where physical force is necessary? Yes especially in cases of self defense, but to use it as a form of punishment is just plain lazy.

I can think of several different ways that that situation could have been handled differently. But in order to enact those alternatives, it will take TIME, which people "don’t have enough of". I know for a fact that ignoring a child's temper tantrum will eventually cause them to stop...but parents give in because THEY don’t want to hear the child screaming, or they are embarrassed or whatever excuse is underlying their actions of giving in to the child's requests

If we respected children and people as the HUMANS they are, we wouldn’t even be having this discussion, because violence would hardly be an issue. Because people who value and respect another person will not bring harm to them...logically it makes no sense.

But respect is a word that is often thrown around yet seldom explicitly explained and even less rarely freely given...yet somehow it is one of the greatest expectations that we have of others.

Bottom line, its not OK to beat people, let alone our most vulnerable members of society. And encouraging that type of behavior simply because a "Father" was "punishing" his child reflects a serious problem in today's society.

P is for Pedophillia

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2294292/Paedophilia-illness-NOT-crime-says-cardinal-just-days-papal-conclave.html

Above is a link to an article today that I read. DISCLAIMER: I will never EVER post a link to an article that I have not read...so if I post it it is safe to assume that I read it. With that being said, my discussion on this particular piece is twofold. I'll start with the most obvious concern....

I feel some type of way that a behavior that is typically considered to be taboo is now on its way to acceptability simply because some people affected by it have the MONEY to MAKE the rules otherwise. I think that it is a perfect example of how the legal system in these United States is fueled by 1. Money and 2. Religion.

All the years that pedophilia has been a "problem" and now, that it is drastically beginning to backfire on the Catholic Church, it should be looked at as a "disease" according to the current Pope. I agree with the idea that people who are abused are certainly more likely to abuse others. At the end of the day, there is a difference between committing a wrong and admitting it, and committing a wrong and trying to cover it up...which is what happened with the Catholic church. So the fact that this is being proposed now of all times, to me it seems like a desperate SOS which quite frankly is insulting at best...

But because the Catholic Church as a whole possess an extremely large amount of money, they in fact have access to the types of people who can change laws and what not transforming this "thought" into reality. And regardless of whether this "thought" becomes any sort of law, it has already been put out there. So the opportunity for people to begin using it as an "excuse" or justification is out there. Which of course opens a can of worms...

The fact that a "highly respected" leader of a major religion is making these sorts of statements has the potential to give the wrong types of people justification for inhumane actions. It is not OK to you know engage in that type of behavior....we ALL know that. Regardless of what types of urges a person may feel, they all still know right from wrong. And any person who is genuinely a good person IMO would never be able to engage in these particular behaviors simply because they would find it impossible to take advantage of a human being (a vulnerable one at that) in this way.

For sexual molestation etc., like all types of abuse is one of the worst human traits to have. No one approves of it and yet it goes on continuously behind closed doors. Why is this?

This brings me to my 2nd point. One of the reasons our sexual treatment of children and dolescents has spiraled out of control, IMO is because America's sexuality is ridiculously repressed. As I was typing that sentence, I had an epiphany, I haven’t seen or heard about any cases of abuse outside of these United States...(feel free to point out examples if you have them) But anywho yea about that repressed sexuality. Sex is so very taboo here..but yet it's everywhere. Its like placing a fresh baked tray of cookies in front of someone and then telling them NOT to eat them....that's stupid....and yet that is what occurs every day here.

So because sex is something that we don’t talk about, naturally "inappropriate sex" is something that we REALLY don’t talk about. People who have the "wrong" types of sexual urges usually don’t have an environment to discuss them until they’ve already gotten into trouble...which of course is pointless.

If we were more understanding, acknowledging and accepting of sexuality in general, I think people would be able to better control the sexual urges they have that are deemed harmful and unacceptable by society. Because it is always easier to cope with comething when you have support.  With that being said....

Once upon a time, humans were married at a much younger age. "Adolescent" "teenager" and "pre-teen" are all relatively new terms in relation to the amount of time that humans have been around. What we consider to be "teenagers" were already married and working...and having families. Also of course from a "natural" stand point it makes sense that people would be attracted to a younger human...for reproductive reasons....[NOTE I am ABSOLUTELY not referring to abuse of CHILDREN at this point, I’m talking about people who have already experienced puberty. ]

I have absolutely no research to back this up, but my hypothesis is that something genetics wise has certain people attracted to "younger humans". The fact remains though that the behavior is illegal, often morally frowned upon and socially unacceptable. But consider this, if we are already taught to keep secret about sex, we are not going to discuss our urges with anyone appropriate or not. So we miss out on the opportunity to have conversation about why even though you have those particular urges it is NOT OK to act on them.

The priests of the Catholic Church are not allowed to have sex at all...Just let that marinate for a little bit.

Instead of giving people a safe environment to discuss and cope with these urges, we shame them for even having the thought as if that will somehow force it out of existence. If we take steps BEFORE and incident occurs, we just may be able to prevent some incidents from occurring. Of course, we also have to acknowledge the other part of this equation.

People who engage in this type of behavior are obviously manipulative at their cores....Because you have to be manipulative to take advantage of a child. But that doesn’t mean that the current structure of our society has not contributed to the series of events that we have unfolding today. Is becoming more open to sexuality the solution to all that ails us? absolutely not...but is it a step in the right direction? Yea I think so....